Tiffany Carter's 22-Mile Swim for Africa

UPDATE: Tiffany swam 20.5 miles--18 of them without a wetsuit--before an upset stomach, crampy calves and sore lungs cut the swim short. She'll be finishing the last 1.5 miles on Tuesday, the 23rd. As of Friday, the 20th, she had raised $2750 for Kenyan children.

Yea, Tiffany! That's the width of the English Channel crossing at the Straight of Dover! (21 miles)

Tiffany (left) at the end of a 14-mile swim with sister, Michelle. 

There must be some endurance obsession in the Beresini genes.

As I write this, my cousin, Tiffany Carter, is swimming across Lake Tahoe to raise money for children in Kenya.

Her longest swim before taking on the width (or length...depending on how you look at it) of Lake Tahoe was 14 miles and took her seven hours. Averaging two miles-per-hour and accounting for fatigue, Tiffany expects the swim to take about 12 hours. That's an entire Ironman-worth of just swimming.

I cry for her shoulders.

And get this: she's not wearing a wetsuit.

"I'll have my wetsuit (a long john suit) on the boat," Tiff told me yesterday, "just to make my mom happy, but I don't want to wear it." (Tiff said she hasn't looked at the water temperature the entire time she's been training. But I did. On the North side, temps on Wednesday ranged between 64 and 76 degrees. On the South side, they're between 65 and 67. Holy wetsuitless coldness.)

Tiffany got the idea for the swim after her older sister, Sophia, visited Kenya and came back with stories about the kids there living in poverty, but didn't have to; the kids could go to school and eat for an entire year for only $50-100 per child.

Tiffany wanted to help. She knew only one other native Lake Tahoe woman had ever completed the swim, and decided she'd go for it. She's been swimming since middle school and wanted to take on the Lake.

It was hard for her to find people to train with, though, as most people who came along would poop out around two miles. Her friend, Howie, got cold and bailed about that far into a 10-mile training swim.  He found a nice family on shore who wrapped him up, gave him warm food, and drove him back to his car.

So Tiffany recruited her younger sister, Michelle, to kayak along with her on her training swims. But it hasn't been all sisterly love out on the lake.

"I thought, 'Oh yea, we're sisters, it's gonna be great! We're gonna giggle and laugh...' but we'll be in the middle of the lake and she'll get so crabby sometimes and threaten to leave me," Tiffany said.

So is it going to be different today? On the big day?

She'll have a large crew including both of her parents, her sister, and other kayakers to help out. The local radio station is keeping people up-to-date on Tiffany's whereabouts. You can listen to the live broadcast here.

Tiffany's most nervous about not making it. And of Tahoe Tessie, Lake Tahoe's version of the Loch Ness monster. She put glow sticks on the bottom of the kayaks for the dark start this morning and was worried they'd attract some kind of mythical Tiffany-eating fish.

She'll be slurping mashed-up sweet potatoes and noshing on Clif Bars to fuel the swim.

As of yesterday, Tiffany had raised $957 out of her goal of $2,000. Donate to her swim here--she'll be taking donations for at least another week. No amount is too small! (OK, try to make it at least a buck.)

Visit Tiffany's Swim for Africa site.
Listen to the Quick Time radio broadcast.

Go Tiffany!

How to Ocean Swim Without Being Eaten

You could fork up $700 for a Shark Shield...however this headline: "Shark Shield Experiences Epic Failure, Gets Chomped by Great White" may deter you from wasting your money. You might be better off investing in swim lessons to get fast enough to swim away from impending doom, should you see a giant jaw open up below you.

Or, you could swim where there are a LOT of other people, making your chances of becoming breakfast much slimmer. Especially if you're wearing a bathing suit, and almost everyone else looks like a seal.

The abundance of other meal options was the justification for why I drove 30 minutes to and from Santa Monica this morning to swim in the ocean, instead of walking 10 minutes down the road to swim in my ocean.

A group of swimmers numbering maybe 50(?) met south of the Santa Monica pier, ignoring all warnings that water there is known to have high bacteria levels, just so they could all swim together out to a bright orange buoy, then back in again...over and over. It was awesome.

Plainly called the "Wednesday Ocean Speed Circuit", the weekly event was very worth the ridiculous amount of time it took to get to and from it. The "real" swimmers almost all were in bathing suits, and went around the buoy several times. While I am always the butt of the real swimmers, and the head of the triathletes (hence why I'm usually the best-looking meal option, swimming all alone), this time it didn't matter. I was surrounded by real swimmers up front, and triathletes behind. And after the first loop, there were people everywhere. It was awesome. I only freaked myself out once, believing I saw a fin...which could've happened--there were dolphins out there too...with 4 eyes! Just kidding.

Moral of the story: If you love to swim in the ocean, but have a hyperactive imagination and no control over your consequent heart palpitations, which you in turn believe attract sharks, who can detect your spastic electrical pulses, do an ocean speed circuit swim. If you don't have one, set one up. And if you live by a lake, you didn't even need to read this...unless you've heard rumors about lake-monster sightings.

How NOT To Swim in Your Gym's Pool

Sometimes, that 4:30am wake up call for masters swimming just makes you want to smash your alarm clock and sleep until 4:30am the next morning. If you have a membership to a gym with a pool, maybe you'll tell yourself you can swim there later. Back to sleep!

But once you arrive at the gym, you remember exactly why you would rather miss sleep to swim masters than do a gym swim. Share this list of NOT TO's with your fellow gym swimmers to ensure a better experience for all (or, heck, post it in your gym and see how long it stays up!):

1. Do not pee in the pool. It is already uncomfortably hot. You do not need to warm yourself up.


2. Do not swim breast stroke like you must try to push off of both side walls to make yourself go forward. You will kick someone, and they might kick back.


3. Do not act disgusted when a swimmer on a kick set splashes your carefully pinned up bouffant. You got in the pool. It has water in it. You are going to get wet.


4. Do not swim back stroke unless you have the magical power to swim in a straight line, or unless your pool is indoors and you can guide yourself along a crack in the roof. You will run into someone. They might kick you.


5. Do not try to time your push off with that of the hot triathlete next to you. It is hardly laudable to beat them across the pool when they're swimming an easy 50 and you are sprinting.


6. Do not steal any pull buoy located on deck in your vicinity. Someone brought it there to use. Just because they don't have it shoved between their thighs at this instant doesn't mean they're not going to use it.


7. Do not comment on the massive amount of leg hair or "Sasquatch" legs that one female swimmer has. It has a purpose. It is called "drag". She shaves only for races. Capisce?


8. Do not start up a conversation with someone who is obviously watching the clock. They are on "intervals". They will only have 5 seconds to catch their breath before they go out again. "Hi" is the only appropriate thing to say at this time.


9. Do not bring your kid and tell him he can play "lie on the bottom of the pool and look up at the swimmers." Yes, it can be amusing. But he also looks like he's drowned, and said swimmers will feel obligated to skip an interval to grab your kid.


10. Do not try to circle swim. Each lane is good for 2 people only. Split it up and swim back and forth. It's highly unlikely you're going to swim at the same pace as that other random gym swimmer.

Happy Sleeping-In and Gym Swimming!

5 Things to Get You Excited About Pool Running

So you’ve twited an ankle, have tendonitis or your body has otherwise decided to make you stop running for a while. Instead of overdoing your cycling and swimming workouts to make up for missed runs—RUN! In the pool. That’s right, it’s not just for old ladies in exercise classes any more. Instead of dreading extra time spent with pruny fingers, think about these 5 reasons why pool running kicks butt.

1. You get to use the “aquajogger”—that purple floaty things you laugh at grandmas when they use it to aquacize. Only you look cool in it. And you’re doing a real workout.

2. Because you’re upright, you can carry on a conversation with the cute lifeguard (he’ll talk, even if he’s not supposed to.)

3. You can analyze and critique the strokes of all of the lap swimmers and possibly gain insight as to why people (like TriDiva) don’t go anywhere when they use their arms.

4. You can tack the workout on to your swim, giving you less transition time, less time to think about going out, and more time to read Cozmo…I mean Triathlete Magazine…with your breakfast.

5. Should you choose to tack your pool run onto your swim, you’ll have that much more time to get rid of your googlie-eyes before you are seen in public. (And in TriDiva’s case, this is much needed and appreciated!)

Happy recovering!

Ironman Arizona '07--The SWIM

TriDiva recounts IMAZ, one event at a time. Time to get your feet wet!

I suited up and headed toward the staging area. As soon as they let us get in the water, I jumped in. I was hell bent on starting in the front of everyone else, and didn’t care if I had to float for half an hour to do so.

Snippets of conversation from the water:

“If this starting buoy is black, is the buoy at the other end black, too? How the hell are we supposed to see that!?”

“I’m not counting on being first to the other buoy. Just follow these people and we’ll get there.”

Honestly, I couldn’t even see the end of the lake, so what did I care about the buoy color? What I did care about: the color of the female caps. They were dark blue. Whose brizilliant idea was that!? Our heads blended right in with the strange murkyness that is Tempe Town Lake. Not that I was planning on drowning, but if I went under, nobody would ever know.

The pros left 15 minutes ahead of us ordinary folk, then we all swam up to the imaginary line across the lake. I could see my coachancé's sign all the way on to the side—it was bright pink and said “Go Triathlete Diva!” on it, with a cartoon of a sexy triathlete, and a white board attached so he could change what it said along the way.

I felt great knowing coachancé and the rest of my cheer squad (my parents and 2 of coachancé and my friends) were all over there for me, and would be out there for me all day long. My dad, I found out later, was somehow able to pick me out in the washing machine that is an Ironman start, and walked along side me the entire swim.

The Start

Then it came. 10 seconds. The gun fired and I sprinted to try to get out ahead a little bit so I wouldn’t be trampled. That didn’t work so well. Everyone else sprinted too, and everyone else who had positioned themselves toward the front certainly did so because they were good swimmers. I freaked out. People were swimming on me. I knew this would happen, but the feeling of being dragged under combined with the knowledge that my little blue head wouldn’t be seen popping below the waves made me freak.

Then three most wonderful things happened:

1. I saw the camera crew filming me. Somebody was watching. Horray!

2. I remembered my Ironman friend’s only words of advice for the day: Just Chill. Very helpful indeed.

3. We passed a buoy and I was so close to it—whoever I was unintentionally following had dead-on sighting and that made me very excited.

Not until the first buoy (about a mile into it) at the end of the lake did the mass attempt at drowning fellow competitors die down. Now we could do all that stuff coaches tell you to do, like settle into a rhythm, pay attention to your stroke, monitor your breathing, etc…

I got all excited because even without the masses in front of me to follow, I still was dead-on in sighting the buoys. I don’t believe that has ever happened to me before. Ever. The last time I swam in this lake, a dude in a kayak bopped me on the head and told me I was going the wrong way. Embarrassing much? But today was my day. I was kicking butt, just as I had intended. (And by kicking butt, I mean trying to meet my goal of doing the swim in an hour. Not racing people.)

As I neared the last turn to head toward the giant “steps of aquatic accomplishment”, I couldn’t believe that that part of my Ironman was already over. I almost wanted to go slower so it wouldn’t be over so quickly. Almost. All those months in the pool. All of those crazy freezing 5 am workouts. All of those (well, ok, only 2) freaky death-defying ocean swims. All of that boiled down to this, and it was over! I almost wanted to cry. Heck, I almost wanted to cry before we all even got in the water because I was just so overwhelmed by the crowd and the positive energy and the support and love that my friends and family gave me through my journey-and all of that was about this day. It made me an emotional nutcase.

I reached the steps and very friendly volunteers were there to drag me out of the water. Then came quite possibly my favorite invention ever: the wetsuit stripper. I pulled my top off, sat my bum down on the ground and watched it fly! I have always stunk at taking my wetsuit off, so that was quite gratifying to watch it peel so nicely from my Tempe Town Lake- green body.

Running down the chute and into transition was awesome. There were so many people cheering everywhere. I felt like a rock star. Until I got to the transition, and my screaming out my number fell on deaf ears. WHERE THE HECK WAS MY BAG!!! Will nobody find it for me! I panicked as I looked at a sea of white bags. Which one had my helmet and new glasses and bike shoes in it? Heck if I knew.

Finally, a very nice man shoved it in my arms, and a bunch of other volunteers made sure I didn’t accidentally veer into the men’s change tent. Then somebody ripped my bag open, dumped the contents on the ground, put my number belt on me and helped me get everything else and I was off.

Then again. I shouted my number. Where was my bike! I knew where it was, and I almost got to it in my cleats before a very nice gentleman noticed me looking around and ran to get it for me.

Although those periods of waiting seemed like an eternity, but I only spent 4 minutes in transition, so all of that Tempe Town Lake water in my ears must’ve jacked up my perception of time…or something. It was a blast to have all of those awesome volunteers helping us do everything, though.

And now, for the bike!

Stay tuned...

Happy Training! (Or Resting!)

A Triathlete Easter

a special sneak peak:

HAPPY EASTER!

I hate swimming in the ocean!

Let me rephrase that. I love the actual swimming aspect, I hate the potential death by large fish swallowing / severing / suffocating / stinging / surfers –the 5 “s”s of ocean swimming modes of potential death. I do tell myself that if the surfers have been sitting there for a while, dangling themselves above the water at the big man eating fish below, and none of them have been eaten yet, why would that fish want me in particular? However, people fish off of the pier. They wouldn’t stand there all day if there was nothing to catch, would they? Not cool.

Before the ocean swim, Fiance took me to church. Easter really is the point of all religion as it gives us a sense of something more than life so we don’t live it scared poopless of dying.

Therefore, ocean swimming must be the anti-Easter, as it makes me, every second that I’m in there, scared poopless of dying. I had a nice one-sided conversation with God while I was in the ocean today that went something like this:

“I was not meant to die by a hungry fish attack a week before my Ironman, was I? Because that would be a really really mean joke. And I’d like to set the world record for world’s oldest woman---or just get to 100 years. So please tell me death by fish in one of the younger triathlon age groups is not in the cards for me. Thank you, I love you. Happy Easter, Love Me.”

Fiance started an "every three minutes, wait for me" schedule, which I appreciated. We swam out to the end of the pier, then north, then at 15 minutes, turned around to swim back at the pier. Fine. I saw fish underneath me. Not fine. And shadows. Then when we regrouped at the end of the pier.

I looked for the surfers so I could swim in a way to avoid getting bashed in the head by one like our friends had done last year. There were no surfers.

Where the heck did they all go!? Did they know something I didn’t?

“THERE’S A F^*#ING SEA OTTER IN OUR WAY!”

Holy s*&t! (I cuss a lot when I’m scared. I don’t know why, but it makes me feel better.) That giant mound sunning directly in my exit path is NOT seaweed.

“It’s ok, swim in next to me.” Says Fiance-hero.

He swims closest to the ginormous man-eating animal, I swim next to him. All the way in.

Then on the beach: “That was a huge sea lion! I wasn’t going to say anything to creep you out. When you first said sea otter, I thought ‘Whatever, they don’t do anything,’ but that thing was way bigger than me.”

Thank you very much for keeping it inside until after we exited the deadly waters of the South Bay.

Another ocean swim accomplished alive. Another Easter calming me down, and letting me know that even if I do get swallowed by a big fish, I will not permanently reside in its belly.

Happy Easter and Training!

Open Water Swimming

If you're like TriDiva, no matter how many times you swim in the ocean, it still scares the crap out of you. That shadow lurking just below you. AH! That slimy stuff you just put your hand in. And oh my goodness! You get so spread out from your friends. You know you look like the "weak" fish some big animal is going to have to taste for breakfast. You're not alone. And you're not the only one with a hyperactive ocean-swimming imagination:

Try not to freak yourself out. The chances of this happening, we've been told, are something around 1 in a billion. And the sharks are smarter in Australia.

Happy Open Water Swim Training!

Getting Up Early Got Your Goat?

In the nascent stages of your trigeek life, a 4:30am wake-up call was simply insane. 4:30! Why would I have to get up at 4:30?! It's still dark. 4:30 still qualifies as night! Even after years of training, those 4:30 wake-up calls still haven't gotten any easier.

But, in the best interest of forming your awesomely bulging muscles, and stimulating that metabolism that has others wondering where that 20oz turkey sandwich you had as a "snack" at 10:30am went, 4:30am is a necessity. Or maybe for you, it's 4...or 5...still, it's pretty freakin' early. And right now, it's also pretty freakin' cold.

Here are some suggestions to help get you up and going, when everyone else you know is dreaming of sugar plums...or something like that:

• set your alarm for the latest time you can possibly get up and meet your buddies/make it to practice. DON'T do the snooze thing. That just cuts into time you could've been at REM instead of lying there dreading the 3rd time your alarm goes off.


• DON'T drink caffeine. Or, if you must have coffee to be a productive / kind member of society, please do, just not for several hours before you go to bed. Let's say 5. That looks like a good number.


• Give yourself a treat for waking up. No, not the Rice Krispy kind. Say you're going to swim practice. When you get up, think of that super cute guy/girl on your Master's team. Because you got your butt up so early, you get to ogle this person in their tiny bathing suit at every rest interval. Or, if you're lucky enough to swim the same pace as they do, you get to swim behind them all of practice. Maybe they'll even talk to you!


• think of all that time between now and when you have to go to work. That's a lot of you time before you have to give yourself up to the corporate infrastructure. Excellent.


• picture the amazing body you are building. Think about all that body fat you are widdling away. Those bulging biceps. Think of all that time you're shaving off everything--minutes off your swim, bike and run. You will dominate this year! And all thanks to your special morning wake up time.


• it gives you bragging rights at work. When your coworkers meander in at 15 minutes late at 10:15, apologizing because they couldn't get up, just say, "Oh, that's ok. I got up at 4:30 and worked out for 4 hours. I didn't think I'd make it in time, either!" (Or something equally as subtle.)

Be proud of yourself! As you know, early to bed, early to rise...makes a triathlete healthy, wealthy, and gives him/her great thighs!

Swimming Got You Googly-Eyed?

Do you get out of the pool when its still dark outside and put sun glasses on immediately? Do you run and hide in your room after swim practice for hours on end? Do your coworkers think you're just a funny-looking person, or do they make fun of the peculiar rings around your eyes and make you sit out of the "important" meetings so you won't scare your clients?

You might be a victim of GOOGLY EYES.

That's right. You've got your swim goggles strapped on so tight, it's a wonder your eyes haven't just popped right out into them.

Even if you're not a chronic goggle-tightener, the goggles you're wearing might just like you so much, they want to leave an impression. So they do. And you get to carry it around with you all day long. Combine that little gift with the gift of "swim cap forehead ", red eyes, stinky hair, and dry skin from the chlorine, and we wonder why anyone swims in the first place!

Never fear! Triathlete Diva to the rescue!

Here are a few things you can try to rid yourself of these unsightly afflictions:

• loosen up those goggles! If you give them a little pat, they'll suction to your face senza the need to see how much your straps can stretch (however, if you pat too hard, you'll get googly eyes. Patting your goggles correctly is an art that takes practice.)


• turn your swim cap inside out. The ribbing is usually on the inside, if there is any, and that's what gives you lines on your face that make you look like a character in Star Trek later. Most people have heads shaped so they don't need the ribbing to hold their caps on. Don't worry, we're not saying you have a funny shaped conehead if your cap won't stay on...


• try a swimming mask. This, however, will almost certainly get you laughed at if you swim with a masters group. If you don't, great. If you do...just choose. Who would you rather have laugh at you? Your coworkers, or those tubby guys in speedos? (Try these Aquasphere swim mask/goggles...maybe nobody will notice you've switched from sweedes...)

If you just have a very impressionable face, and no matter what, end up with funky lines and circles on it after swimming, think of it as a small sacrifice for your tip top fitness. Hey, nobody's making fun of your flabby arms, are they? You don't have 'em!

Swimming Got You Gassy?

Just like Raging Crotch, Swimmer's Stomach, as we like to call it, is a little talked about subject. Because, well, it stinks.

Do you ever get out of the pool after a hard workout, only to be greeted by an unfriendly bubble in your belly that will only go away after a few hours of embarrassing burping or flatulence? After living with this problem for some time, and hiding out in a cubicle for the first two hours of work, praying nobody will ask you a question and accidentally stumble upon your secret secretions, it's time to think about a solution.

What Causes Swimmer's Stomach?

According to a post on the Gastroenterology Support Forum, when you swim hard, you regulate your breathing. Air comes in in big gulps, and goes out much more slowly. You might even hold a breath to race to the finish faster and more efficiently. That's all fine and dandy. What happens later to some people isn't something to be as proud about as finishing that last tight interval in time.

What happens to these monster gulps? The extra air goes into the stomach. That's right. Because the next time you need to gulp, your lungs need to be ready for it. Thus, you get a nice tummy bubble moving along your intestinal tract. But to relieve you of passing a giant gassy bubble, your kind and efficient body will break it down into several little bubbles. So instead of ripping one big one once you get out of the pool, and being done with Swimmer's Stomach, you get to eek it out over the next couple of hours at your big meeting with the boss man.

How Can Swimmer's Stomach Be Stopped?

Don't breathe so darn much! While you might be cruising along, enjoying your face full of air after every 2 strokes, you might also be setting yourself up for a post-swim swell up. On the other hand, if you're doing breathing drills and breathing less frequently, you might be prone to taking in bigger gasps of air, flooding the stomach with air as well.

So what to do? The benefits of swimming far outweigh the potential for getting Swimmer's Stomach. Swimming makes you leaner, stronger, sexier, and comfortable wearing next to nothing in large groups of people. (Whether that's good or bad, we don't know. But it's a fact.)

Some practical solutions: Get a job 2 hours away from swim practice so the only people who'll know about your issues are you, your car, and the morning radio DJ. OR, swim at night, so the only person who'll have to deal with it later is your spouse. And hey, he/she married you for better or worse, right? We're sure they'll take a little flatulence along with the rest of your athletic and motivated package.

So dive in! And don't worry. You're not the only one who experiences Swimmer's Stomach!