Diabetic Endurance Athletes Article Out in This Month's Competitor Magazine!

Turn to page 70 to read the article by yours truly.
Turns out my arse-kicking by Team Type 1 was not totally in vain. :)

Triathlete Diva Becomes a Superhero

A friend recently created this masterpiece:

Triathlete Diva is officially ready to fight the crime of drafting and boring bike syndrome.

Have a happy weekend, Tri-tham City!

xoxo,

TriDiva

A Very Un-Triathlete Bachelorette Party--With Photos!

The ideal bachelorette party for most female triathletes must be something like this: A long hike with the athletic bridal party up some beautiful mountain. Gossip over a hearty and healthy lunch of turkey sandwiches, trail mix, and Gatorade. Hike back down and stay in a cabin, far from the sights and sounds of city living. Especially when you're in the beginning of Ironman training. Wouldn't want to mess with that. Can't skip a workout entirely, right?

But how about living on the edge? Changing things up a bit? Going wild like most other bachelorettes--it's the best excuse you'll ever have to break your routine and do things you'd never ever do while training otherwise. My friends and I chose to go route #2, and it was the greatest party I have ever witnessed. And not just because it was in my honor.

Tips to Avoid Training Burn-Out at Your Bachelorette Party

1. Don't train


2. Go to Vegas


3. Load up at your only meal of the day: a $30 buffet. Try every dessert.


4. Gossip. A lot. About boys. Then play "Pin the Manhood on the Man"


5. Drink 6,000 plus calories of alcohol over a 9-hour period of time


6. Get serenaded by a bunch of men as equally loopy as you are


7. Complete dirty dares written on the tags of the lingerie your friends bought you


8. Go somewhere where no photography is allowed. See dirty things


9. Go clubbing until it's definitely tomorrow


10. Follow that up with someone's left-over room service pizza, found in the hallway at 5am to ensure your body, which never ever processes alcohol, doesn't eject anything when you finally go to sleep


11. Walk around Vegas like a zombie while window shopping and watching water dance at the Bellagio


12. Return home ridiculously motivated to resume training and banish any and all Sin City-induced bloating

Me + our top gambler of the weekend

Super Hot Bridesmaids

Serenaded at a Piano Bar

More Super Hot bridesmaids and friends

Bun Pincher. A souvenir. And another Super Hot bridesmaid.

Happy partying!

Road Etiquette: Old Men and TriDivas

This one is for the ladies. And for the old men who can’t be content to take a position staring at the ladies’ bums...from far far away.

Have you ever been on a ride—one of those most fabulous rides where the weather is perfect, you’ve been going for a few hours and still feel great, and nothing, not even the honking horns or attempts on your life by evil drivers can bring you down—only to pass an old man on an uphill who takes this move as a direct threat to his manhood and subsequently feels he must silently race you to the top?

Ah yes. I will now attempt to define the mysterious behavior that occurs moments after an old man has been passed by a TriDiva. (And by old man, I mean either older than the TriDiva kicking his butt, or any man who still has his head up his own butt and can’t stand being beat by a woman.)

Upon being passed by a TriDiva, who of course will give a friendly “Hello!”, an old man cyclist will do one of three things:

1. 
   
   He will not acknowledge the friendly “hello” and silently pick up the pace, not allowing the TriDiva to complete her pass, subsequently making her stay in a traffic lane as she cannot then pull over in front of him.
   
   


2. 
   
   He will acknowledge the hello with a rude and piggish grunt, allow the TriDiva to pass, then hammer like there’s no tomorrow and try to play leap-frog up the hill with her.
   
   


3. 
   
   He will not acknowledge the “hello”, will draft the TriDiva almost all the way up the hill (not taking advantage of the view as he is blinded by a testosterone rage), then try to make a break for it as if crossing the peak of whatever hill they are going up first means he is some kind of superman.
   
   

So what’s a friendly, beautiful, competitive TriDiva to do to ensure this undeserved competition stays fun and doesn't disrupt her perfect ride? Here are some ideas:

1. 
   
   Kick his ass.
   
   


2. 
   
   Fart and/or snot in his face when he drafts you.
   
   


3. 
   
   Be overly friendly. Mean people can’t stand that.
   
   

Happy riding! And remember, most older cyclists are nice people, but if you find an OldMan Cyclist, feel free to use the suggested actions above or make your own! I’d love to hear what you come up with!

Tricks and Tips to Pimp your Tri-Bike on a Budget

You dropped what could’ve been a down payment on a Ferrari a few years ago on your bike. You have no intention of doing that again for a long while (even though you’ve sworn to your spouse many times that the new Felt Carbon DA is calling to you personally whenever you see one).

But lately, even though you’ve bonded with your bike, and its saddle and handlebars have molded to your bum and hands respectively, it’s been looking a little bit…old fashioned.

Cooler looking graphics were introduced this year. New designs touting themselves as more aerodynamic have popped up. Sexier top tube lines have been formed. Instead of focusing on all of these promising-looking new designs, it’s time to concentrate on what you have. It’s time to pimp your bike out and get excited about getting back in the saddle.

Here’s how to recreate that fluttery feeling you had in your stomach every time you saw your bike in the beginning of your relationship:

1. Give it a name. That is, if you haven’t already. And no, naming it the name with which it popped out of the factory is not acceptable. (Cutie Kuota, Felty…) Something more intimidating, fast, and menacing—like Dominator, or The Silver Bullet—will immediately restore a sense of adventure and mystique to your bike. Can you handle a Silver Bullet? While you’re at it, give it a gender, too. This way, when you’re talking about it with your friends, it will not be an “it”, but rather a “he” or “she”, instantly making him/her more like a member of your family than some outdated object.


2. Choose a new color scheme. Maybe your bike is already bright yellow, but there are still ways you can detail your baby to give it a whole new look. First, decide what colors you want to race in this year. Then, you can pimp your bike accordingly. Not only will it look great, you will also look most intimidating (and like a pro) when your whole kit matches—right down to your socks. Pick a color and ride with it. (Hot tip: cruiser bike decals are cheap, and come in all kinds of neat designs and colors—like orange flames. Pick some up at your local bike shop and get ready to be envied.)


3. Change your saddle. Choose a new one in an outrageous color. Yes, your bum might’ve grown accustomed to your old one, but your heart will go pitter-pat whenever you see that crazy orange or pink or blue saddle on your bike, setting it apart from the masses of more conservative black and silver saddles. Terry makes some great pink saddles for women. Fizik has also dabbled in color. Another perk to having an unusual saddle? It’ll be super easy to spot in transition.


4. Change your handlebar tape. This is the easiest and cheapest way to give your bike a facelift. It can instantly change the look of your bike, and may be the only thing you need to recreate your initial love affair. Fortunately, people have figured this out already, and handlebar tape is readily available in every color under the sun to help you pimp your ride.


5. Spray paint your bottle cages according to your color scheme. Got a pink saddle, pink flames, and pink handlebar tape? Bust out some hot pink spray paint and paint away! (Assuming you didn’t drop an additional $60 per cage to have carbon fiber cradling your bottles.)

So whenever you feel yourself looking at your bike, and believing that if you dropped mucho dinero on a new tri-machine, consider this: maybe you’re just looking at it the wrong way. It’s not the bike that’s fast, it’s the person peddling it. If Lance got on your bike, he’d surely beat all of your shiny-new-carbon-toting competition. Jump-start your engine by falling back in love with your bike. Give one or all of the tips above a try, and you’ll surely be on your way to a successful season.

Happy Bike Pimping!

Howdy Hot Athletes!

Welcome to Triathlete Diva!

Tri Diva's goal? To share the life of a triathlete. No, not an elite triathlete who trains, eats, sleeps, gets paid by sponsors, then trains, eats, and sleeps some more. This is a page for those of us who train, party, work, take a nap, train, find it hard to understand people who would not want to ride their bike 100 miles for fun on a Saturday, then blast all that hard work with a glass of wine...or two...or three! Oh yes, and try to balance a "normal" relationship, family obligations, work crises, sick, neglected pets, a love of fashion despite chlorniated hair and windburned skin, and PMS on top of it all!