5 Tips for Long, Cold Bike Rides

Score! It's sunny!
Boo! It's freezing!

It has been deceptively cold in LA these past few weeks, but people on a mission (Ironman, road races, whatever) are still heading out in droves to get their bike training in and they seem to be enjoying themselves.

How is this possible? They have figured out how to dress for the weather, which, at 45-55 degrees, is really not that bad, especially if you compare it to, oh I don't know, the current weather in Madison.

If you've been frostbitten one too many times trying to ride in 50-ish degree weather, you're not alone. It wasn't too long ago that severe "cold wuss" syndrome had me on my trainer way more than I ever wanted to be.

A distaste for working out inside and an REI gift card brought about a quick transformation.

If one of the only reasons you enjoy working out is to be one with the outdoors, it's time to get on the layering bandwagon and back in the peloton. Here are 5 tips to keep you warm and happy for your cold-weather rides, even if they last 10+ hours.

1. LAYER- Under shirt, jersey, arm warmers, leg warmers, wind jacket, wind vest, skull cap, booties / toe warmers, thick socks, thick gloves. It sounds like a lot, but in spandex form, it isn't. Layering will ensure you have enough to keep you warm on descents and at the start of your ride.
2. Wear a CAMELBAK- If you sweat profusely out of your head (like coachubby) or hands (like coachubby) or all over the place (like coachubby) you might want a second pair of gloves, probably don't want a skull cap at all, and ought to carry a second jersey. These, along with the gallons of gatorade you're going to drink on a monster long ride, can easily be stored in a Camelbak like this MULE. (Be warned, though, your buddies will want to stuff their extra clothes in it, too, when they realize their pockets aren't enough for food and shedding layers.)
3. Shed and Dress- Shed for climbs or hard efforts, put your clothes back on for descents and high speed cruising. The idea is you don't want to soak your clothes. If you wear them all to go up, you'll turn into a human Popsicle coming down. Purple is not a pretty skin tone on anyone. Except a grape.
   
4. Cover your feet (and head and hands!)- Don't want to spend a fortune on booties? Toe warmers and wool socks (try these!) are a great idea. And if you don't give a hoot about what roadies think about your fashion sense, and would like to cruise by them all warm and happy, make your own booties. Take a pair of old ski socks, cut holes in the bottom for your cleats, and put them on around your shoes. They'll keep your ankles and toes nice and warm and happy--and they'll keep any non-triathlete members of the household involved in financial decisions happy, too.
5. Wear a wind vest- No, it doesn't have to be road-worker orange or yellow, although I am a fan because I have decided to forgo color coordination in favor of visibility. (If someone on the road goes, "Hey, you look like a clown!" smile and be happy that they SAW you instead of hitting you...and then pray they don't hit you for looking like a clown.) It's amazing how such a thin piece of clothing, which can easily be unzipped and stuffed into a pocket (or Camelbak!) can make such a ginormous difference in your comfort, particularly descending. Buy one. You can justify it by saying it's a lot less than a trip to the hospital for hypothermia. Or road rash from crashing because you were shivering so badly.
   

Happy cold weather riding!

Double Century Training--Can Your Brain Handle It?

Crazy ride ideas pop into my head sometimes. This Saturday's extravaganza was no exception.

Thank goodness for coachubby who, in the spirit of maintaining his manhood, can't back down from the crazy rides, and for my girlfriend, Robyn, who will not only help me carry them out, but royally kick my butt while doing so.

Therefore, the rides can't be too nutty, because I'm not the only one out there doing them. (That's called "Ultra Cyclist Logic". I don't know if it's made its way into the Psych books yet...)

When the weather decided not to soak LA on Saturday, as was foreseen earlier last week, the ride was on. We figured it would be about 10 hours of riding, possibly up to 12 hours of being outside.

This time, we had to build on our last DA ride (disappearing a**), adding 1.5 hours of ride time and about 30 miles. (The last time we rode 150 a few weeks ago, it was relatively flat.)

The route: Leaving Redondo, meet up at the Hermosa Beach pier at 6am in the freezing cold dark, then ride up the Strand to PCH to Latigo, up Latigo, descend Kanan, North on PCH to Mulholland, up Mulholland, down Kanan, South on PCH to Latigo, up Latigo, down Mulholland to Cold Creek, up Piuma, down Stunt, then descend Topanga Canyon and back home.

We made our own pre-dawn to after-dusk ride. It ended up being 150 miles, 10.5 hours ride time, 12.5 hours of being outside. (The extra two hours were accumulated dressing/undressing time for descents/ascents...and watter bottle fill ups, and potty stops.)

Nothing tests mental endurance like the last two hours of a ride like Saturday's. It's like channeling the PMS gods. At some point, the mind goes blank, just wants to turn over the pedals, and anything that gets in its way from keeping the body zooming forward gets snapped at, or will snap its last nerve. And that was only 150 miles!

In a moment of sanity pre-ride, we switched out my 11-21 cassette for a 12-25, thus saving my quads from complete destruction as evidenced by their ability to ride again, and scoot me up a mountain trail yesterday.

What is all of this riding for? Well, I'm glad you asked.

Bring it on, Mulholland Challenge!

Also, this Saturday, coachubby, Robyn, and I will be at the Camino Real Double Century in Irvine. Come cheer, or come ride! The way the weather's been (freezing and drizzly) it's a guarantee that I will be wearing pink arm warmers, a blue jersey, acid pee wind vest, purple leg warmers, and possibly homemade booties (ski socks over the shoes with holes cut out of the bottom for cleats.) Roadies love it...Not really. (Photo coming soon.)

ALSO, stay tuned for the grand announcement of what all of this is for, including the double century. (But wait, there's more!)

Happy training and staying warm!

Calling All Unattractive Spin Instructors

Spin classes are fabulous. It's quite a treat to jump on a bike and ride as hard as you want without constantly looking over your shoulder for cops at t-stops (...I mean stopping at stop signs...) or narrowly avoiding getting hit by Mr. Magoo driving a giant bus.

If the class is taught by an instructor who can choose and mix great beats, pick killer drills, and manage to keep the class motivated without singling anyone out, or getting off of his bike, it might become a solid part of your workout routine.

However, if said class is as fantastic as the class outlined above--and taught by a guy who is genuinely enthusiastic about fitness, friendly, blond, and classically handsome in a Greek statue sort of way--the class may become reminiscent of your high school lunch break.

Women of all ages, shapes, and fitness levels storm my favorite spin class every week for a chance to show off new boobs to this instructor, whom we shall call Beefcake, in workout clothes smaller than my regular underwear. And no, I don't wear granny panties.

These women are always up for the "hover"position, which will allow them to lean over the handlebars in such a way that said boobs will be highlighted in all their eerily standoutish glory.

They travel in small groups (the women, I mean. Boobs do that all of the time.), rushing into the room when the doors open, hoping to get bikes in the front row. They call each other by names like "Sweetie" and "Dahling" while secretly planning how they'll win more attention from the instructor than their friends that day.

The top 10 spots in a class of about 28 bikes fill up fast, at a reservation price of $1. The rest are up for grabs an hour before class starts, and if you're not there at 6am on the dot, you can count yourself out of the interval workout you've been counting on all week. America's obesity epidemic clearly does not live on the third floor of my gym.

And so, in search of the perfect class that does not require spending extra time at my gym (a hub for people to scam on each other, like any gym in LA, I suppose) to get into class, or potentially get my eyes gouged out by fake fingernails, I'm calling on all of you equally enthusiastic, fun, hip spin instructors who aren't Beefcakeishly handsome to start teaching classes there.

In return, I offer you a small group of devoted hard-core athletes who will relish whatever monstrous workout you bark out. Around these parts, even some of those hard-core girls have fake boobs, so you won't be missing out on Beefcake's scene entirely. Promise.

For the Love of Chocolate Cake

Chocolate cake is a delicacy best consumed after a monster long ride. Or the night before a monster long ride. Or in the days following a monster long ride.

During said long rides, I like to envision myself as a professional cyclist in the Tour of California, riding up the canyons north of LA like a pro in contention for the KOM jersey.

Therefore, it is with great sadness that I recently read this statement in a news article about what real professional cyclists eat:

...most cyclists eschew high-fat foods for healthier, balanced eating.

"You may find a few who'll eat a piece of chocolate cake, but not many," said Dr. Marlia Braun, a University of California, Davis, nutritionist and dietitian who has worked with many cyclists and other athletes.

Few pro cyclists have sweet tooths, say the experts.

The above generalization may be made possible by the fact that most pro cyclists are men.

So while Levi or Lance might not be the best cyclists to question in search of a pro cycling chocolate cake lover, perhaps the ladies in the Women's crit would admit to chocoholholism.
Surely there must be a world-renown pro out there who has a healthy love of chocolate.

Or maybe Dr. Braun just had a slip of the tongue, and meant to say, ""You may find a few who'll eat a piece of lemon meringue pie, but not many." That would be quite understandable. Lemon meringue is gross.

Triathlon Just Got a Little More Vain

Many triathletes obsess about their bodies. The body is the machine for tri domination, and having a lean physique makes it easier to tackle long courses at more of a jog than a slog.

But just how vain are we? Has the self-admiration gone too far? How much should we obsess about the bodies of our fellow triathletes before we're officially "creepy"?

Newcomer HotTriathletes.com is taking the obsession of triathlon's tight-bodied adherents to an entirely new level. This website has ripped off (as have hundreds of others) the now globally popular website HotorNot.com, started in 2000, and created a place for insecure amateurs to see how they stack up against their buddies.

Currently, there are several pictures of pros, probably uploaded from promotional sessions against their knowledge or consent.

If you don't have enough self-esteem to look at yourself in the mirror after a workout and say that your body is amazing, not only for what triathlon training has made it look like, but also for what it has been able to accomplish for you in your workouts, then sign up for HotTriathletes.com.

Someone else who is surely qualified to comment on your physical appearance based on the nonexistent universal guidelines of attractiveness will let you know if you should be wearing a baggy shirt for your next run, or a tiny cropped tri top.