Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Triathletes and New Year's Resolutions

Happy New Year!

It's 2008. How are you going to improve this year? My friends and I have come up with several immensely lame mottos for 2008, including: It's gonna be great in 2008! Don't be late in 2008! Get a hot date in 2008! Don't overcompensate in 2008! Find a mate in 2008! and Loose weight in 2008, which we're sure every weight-loss program is already touting, thanks to the immense imagination of their advertising agencies.

So what's your New Year's resolution? Got a motto? If you haven't resolved to do anything differently this year don't despair! Our lame rhymes actually offer some good tips to make 2008 great, in regard to triathlon:

  1. Loose weight. Seriously, this sucks, but if you want to go faster and you're pushing the high end of the Clydesdale spectrum, try dropping some lbs. If going faster and feeling faster aren't enough of an impetus to shed those Xmas cookies glued to your stomach, get engaged. The thought of whale-ish wedding photos is keeping my post-holiday season eating regulated.

  2. Find a mate, in the Australian sense of the term. If you have an exercise buddy, you'll be less likely to miss workouts, thereby improving your overall fitness. You'll also have someone to talk to on those long base rides so you don't go insane, and you'll have someone to complain to about everyone you know who won't ride or run with you.

  3. Don't be late! Punctuality is a sign of dedication and good manners. If you've been allowing yourself to hit the snooze button in the morning, get back into the routine of getting up on time, and getting to workouts on time. If you're routinely punctual, you'll be less stressed, you won't loose workout time, your friends will like you more, and so will your boss.

  4. Don't overcompensate. Ever seen those nerdy guys driving around in Hummers like they're the coolest shiz around, then think to yourself, "Geez, he's compensating for something!" Same goes for dudes who drop $10,000 on a bike and still can't beat their neighbor's 11-year old kid around the block. Want to shave some time? Work on a solid workout routine. Don't drop the money you should have spent on your wife at Xmas on carbon fiber pedals.

  5. Get a hot date. Given that you are now a punctual, fit, non-overcompensator with friends, because you've followed the previous 4 tips, you should have no trouble getting a hot date in 2008. Just don't try to do so if you're not single, unless you want to return home to find your bike cut in half.

Happy New Year!



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