PMS, the Olympics, and the Triathlete

The Olympics are inspiring. Motivating. Totally awesome. But when a triathlete has PMS, the Olympics can become an emotional roller coaster--and not just because she had heart palpitations the entire time Michael Phelps was swimming the 100 fly.

PMS invades the woman's brain, taking over any normal functionality. Men may have witnessed this freakish occurrence at some point or another in their lives. The woman cries for no reason, like when Jason Lezak helped the US win the men's 4 x 100 relay against the boastful, snobby French team.

The usually active, PMSing woman will then sit in front of the TV for hours on end, munching on everything in the house, while believing she is somehow doing something healthful by watching the Olympics.

She convinces herself that focusing on Phelps' stroke will make her a better swimmer. Watching Bolt run will make her a faster runner, a skill she needs because she wants to be just like Emma Snowsill. As coachubby put it, the Aussie ran like she was an Ethiopian. The PMSing woman wants to run like an Ethiopian, and somehow believes she will get faster as she takes another bite of chocolate, and adjusts herself on the couch to watch more track finals.

She sacrifices sleep, just to get a glimpse of Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh's gold-medal match, a part of their unprecedented 108-match winning streak, while knowing that in no way is watching volleyball going to make her a better triathlete. Perhaps, she thinks, she'll meet Misty May while walking around Manhattan Beach someday, and will be happy to report she's fully aware of the Olympian's accomplishments.

She watches the women's cycling time trial, convinced that is the event she could compete in at the Olympics--it was only a 14-mile course, after all. Kristin Armstrong is now a new idol of the PMSer. The afflicted woman then starts to imagine darting past Big Ben, the Globe Theatre, and the London Eye on her Kuota.

When the coachubby wakes her up in the morning to train, however, the PMSer refuses; her mind is frazzled from all of that virtual swimming, running, and cycling. Her body is tired from staying up too late to fit it all in.

And such is the vicious cycle of created by PMS and the Olympics. Good thing they each only last 1 or 2 weeks, respectively!

Female Triathlete? You Need Birth Control!

Ok, so maybe you don't if, say, you're trying to get pregnant. But there are two very important reasons you should be on birth control if you're a competitive female triathlete (this means you Ironwomen!):

1. You can pretty much guarantee Mother Nature won't be delivering an unwanted gift right before your "A" race...or any other races you have this year.

and

2. Your bones need the estrogen.

If reason number one doesn't already have you signing up for The Pill, reason number 2 should get your attention.

If you're a competitive athlete, chances are you're training a lot. Like up to 20 hours a week during your peak phase of Ironman training. And chances are your affinity for chocolate cake and anything else densely calorific just won't keep enough body fat on your seemingly strong, lean, athlete's body to ensure you have the ideal estrogen levels to keep a regular period. In fact, a Stanford study states that "healthy women who began training for a marathon reduced their estrogen levels by over 50%"!

Without estrogen, your bones will rapidly deteriorate. And no amount of weight training, an activity routinely suggested to up your bone density, can fix it.

If you're already experienced the loss of some bone density, don't panic! The sooner you detect it, the sooner you can take steps to halt the deterioration. In fact, if it hasn't been too long, you may even be able to build your bones back up--with birth control pills! The pills contain that bone-loving hormone your ridiculous training has sucked from your body: estrogen.

So if you've been without your female friend for a little while now, and have probably been thinking it's a blessing it went away, think again and see your doctor ASAP. Discuss hormone therapy with her, because stopping your training (the other option) probably isn't really an option to you.

BONUS: Pills like Seasonale allow you to take pills for 3 months straight, so you only have a period 4x/year, and they also come in generic options.

Happy non-osteoporotic training!

Is it Overtraining or PMS?

The symptoms are strangely similar: feelings of irritation or anger, feelings of depression, lack of motivation, difficulty concentrating, increased sensitivity to emotional stress, increased aches and pains. So how do you know if you need to begin rehabilitating yourself from overtraining, or if you just need a Midol? Or, in general, if you're just in a "funk" at the moment, and it's not overtraining, you just have developed a very bad mood. (Stress at work? Annoying cousin in town?)

While overtraining might make you a jerk, there are other performance-based symptoms you can analyze to see if it's time to rest your poor overworked body. Overtraining can be seen as long-lasting fatigue and worsening of competitive performance. But before you go out and run a 10K to compare it to your PR, then decide since it was a few minutes slower, you should throw in the towel, you realize: hey, I just finished a heavy week of training! How can I compare this time with the one I got when I was tapered?

The Peaks Coaching Group has a good article about recognizing the difference between normal fatigue from pushing yourself to achieve maximum gain and fatigue from months of overuse.

According to them, these are the main symptoms of overtraining you should be on the lookout for, then compare them to how you normally feel after a hard workout:

1. Deep muscle soreness. Chronic injury? Feels like your bones are on fire? Hopefully you never feel this way, but if you do, you might be overtrained.


2. Inability to get your heart rate up. Now you can use "Potential Overtraining" as an excuse when your significant other questions your recent purchase of a Garmin Forerunner 305. "You don't want me to get injured, do you!"


3. Loss of appetite and diarrhea. As a triathlete, you are proud that you're the human garbage compactor at every meal. Should this stop, something is very very wrong.


4. Colds that linger--your immune system is depressed. Sore throats, flu-like symptoms. Emergen-C won't cut it. You need rest.


5. Can't sleep, and feel like you don't get enough sleep. Yes, the general population experiences this too, that's why we see "Lunesta" ads all over the TV, but usually you sleep like a baby because your workouts make you tired. Something's up.

(To read the full article on avoiding overtraining, click here!)

(Overtrained?) (PMS?)(Work Stress?)

So while your mental state might resemble PMS, or (for the guys) general moodiness and irritability (mean boss? needy girlfriend?) there are definitely other factors you can watch out for to make sure you haven't overdone it. If popping a Midol, or telling off your boss/girlfriend (mentally! Not out loud!) doesn't get rid of the problem, start assessing yourself with the list above. And don't be afraid to give yourself some rest. If you don't do it now, overtraining will catch up with you later and your recovery will take much longer.

Happy Stress-Free Training!

Hilarious Tri T-Shirts for the Ladies

Maybe it's not enough that you get to flaunt your sexy toned arms at every social function. Maybe you'd like to share exactly how you got those arms...and that fabulous derriere, and have everyone know just what went into making you into the fine specimen that you are. For the racy racing ladies out there, look no further! There are t-shirts made to do just that. Check these out:

Well, are ya?

That's right! And there's probably no "u" either.

And there's nothing wrong with that!

Oooo, no she didn't!

It happens.

It happens, too.

For more funny tri tees, and some pretty offensive ones you DEFINITELY should NOT wear to the office...or in an area where the general public doesn't like to go on long runs of 3+ hours on their Sunday mornings, check out this site. Happy racing!