How To Win A Triathlon

1. Ride 90+ miles with 6,000+ feet of elevation gain the day before.

2. Decide that wasn’t enough and run in the pool for 30 minutes.

3. Run in the pool because you severely injured yourself 3 weeks ago and haven’t been able to run since.

4. Decide you will be so hyped up on endorphins (and Advil) for your goal race that the pain won’t matter.

5. Drink a Red Bull while walking to the swim to counteract the fact that you only got 6 hours of sleep. Laugh off the burpy side effects.

6. Borrow goggles from your local triathlon shop who happens to have a tent at the event because you couldn’t find yours anywhere.

7. Sight well in the swim.

8. Drop fancy Rudy Project glasses out of helmet in transition. Decide you don’t need them anyway. Keep going. Pray the girl next to you doesn’t step on them.

9. Play mind games with a roadie doing the bike leg for a relay team. Decide the burning in your quads is awesome. Push harder.

10. Step on fancy Rudy Project glasses in transition and crack off the arm.

11. Run like hell. There is no pain. The Endorphin/Advil theory is legitimized.

12. Bask in the glory of being the first female finisher…until you find out your coachancé won the whole thing.

13. Bask in mutual glory. Pretend you’re just like Lori Bowden and Peter Reid like 7 years ago at IM Canada…on a much much smaller scale.

14. Pass out.

The Cursed Ankle

I want to run

But you are no fun

You don’t even want to swim

I thought we were one

And that you were done

If only I could cut off my limb

But oh ankle how much fun we’ve had

Think of the times when you weren’t bad

And we took off on explorative runs

I just know

That you want to go

Outside to play in the sun

So I’ll work with you

If you work with me

So we may once again live

In harmony

I will ice and you will feel great

And we shall once again dominate

My awesome ankle, are you with me!?

The Pros and Cons of Living With Your Training Partner

Perhaps you have recently acquired a coachance. Or a boach or a goach (boyfriend/girlfriend + coach). After reading every Cosmo quiz to determine if now would be a good time to move in together, you realize Cosmo doesn’t know everything—and they certainly haven’t addressed the question of moving in with a training partner. Read this before you take that big step!

3 Reasons To Live With Your Training Partner (TP)

1. You don’t have to get up earlier to meet them.


2. They will KNOW if that last giant piece of chocolate cake is missing from the fridge, possibly deterring you (or not) from downing it after a stressful day at work.


3. A 3am text message will not get you out of a workout. Instead of receiving a “You lazy butt, fine. See you on Thursday” message back, you could potentially get a bucket of cold water dumped on your head by a TP who doesn’t want to get a late start. You’ll feel better about yourself if you don’t miss your workout. Just keep repeating that statement all morning until your hair dries.

3 Reasons Why NOT To Live With Your Training Partner

1. You thought your work out clothes stunk up your place. Sweaty spandex x 2 = deadly b.o. stink bomb…especially if you live somewhere humid.


2. They will KNOW if that last giant piece of chocolate cake is missing. Blaming it on your fat cat only works once.


3. If neither of you is a bike rack building genius, you’d better get some very comfortable saddles, because you’ll be sitting on your bikes to watch TV in the living room…and to eat breakfast…and to read the newspaper. 3 bikes was doable. Now you’ve got 6+. Might as well open a shop!

Now that you’ve analyzed the pros and cons of moving in with your TP, you’ll be able to make a more responsible and informed decision if it is right for you. Like if you’re moving in together and buying a nice big house at the same time, and in a dry area, 2 of the 3 cons will become irrelevant.

Happy Training!

5 Things to Get You Excited About Pool Running

So you’ve twited an ankle, have tendonitis or your body has otherwise decided to make you stop running for a while. Instead of overdoing your cycling and swimming workouts to make up for missed runs—RUN! In the pool. That’s right, it’s not just for old ladies in exercise classes any more. Instead of dreading extra time spent with pruny fingers, think about these 5 reasons why pool running kicks butt.

1. You get to use the “aquajogger”—that purple floaty things you laugh at grandmas when they use it to aquacize. Only you look cool in it. And you’re doing a real workout.

2. Because you’re upright, you can carry on a conversation with the cute lifeguard (he’ll talk, even if he’s not supposed to.)

3. You can analyze and critique the strokes of all of the lap swimmers and possibly gain insight as to why people (like TriDiva) don’t go anywhere when they use their arms.

4. You can tack the workout on to your swim, giving you less transition time, less time to think about going out, and more time to read Cozmo…I mean Triathlete Magazine…with your breakfast.

5. Should you choose to tack your pool run onto your swim, you’ll have that much more time to get rid of your googlie-eyes before you are seen in public. (And in TriDiva’s case, this is much needed and appreciated!)

Happy recovering!

The BEST Bike Handling Skills

Betcha wish you could be like this guy! (I do!)

Click here to watch the video!

Happy riding! Try jumping off of a curb on your way to work this morning, then work up to the bouncy wheelie.