Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The "Ironman Trophy"...Seriously?

Last year, Ironman made itself an easy target for ridicule by releasing "Ironman, the Scent." Scent of what?, athletes wondered, Pee and sweat?

Now the brand has licensed its name to The Ironman Trophy, a $700 (yes, $700!) m-dot styled hunk of bronze reminiscent of the plastic m-dot trophies age-group podium finishers receive.


Aren't the race t-shirt and hat--symbols of the achievement included in the race fee--enough? These are things in which an Ironman can parade around, silently screaming about his achievement to fellow gym rats, grocery shoppers, etc...

Is a 16-lb (yes, 16 lbs!) trophy on a mantle, typically a sign of top 5 placement, really necessary? Is it perhaps even uber dorky? (Particularly considering it cost more than the entire race?)

Why not frame your Ironman race number, writing your finishing time and placement on it, as an even cooler-looking acknowledgment of achievement? Or shell out $50 for your finisher photo. Those are pretty nice, and show the athlete in action, verifying he/she did, in fact, cross the finish line.

Kudos to "The Ironman Trophy" for valiantly entering America's never-ending quest to create things people don't need....and to deplete our, um, ever shrinking bronze reserves.

On the bright side, when an Ironman finally decides he no longer needs to visualize his past accomplishments through corporate logos, "The Ironman Trophy" can be placed out of sight--something that can't be done with an m-dot tattoo.


  1. Hi honey! This looks like a marble trophy. Wouldn't a finish that looks more like iron be more appropriate? Love you! Mom

  2. Good point! An iron Ironman trophy would be sweet. According to the IM Trophy's website, "The Ironman Trophy is cast bronze, with a hand-applied patina finish. It is made in the same time-honored tradition of fine art sculptures, using the “lost wax” method." Pure Iron would be neat-o.

  3. Wow. Just goes to show you there are still depths of lameness that mankind has yet to plumb. Seriously, how sad do you have to be to shell out $700 to give a trophy to... yourself!? I just don't understand the desperate need to prove stuff to other people. "Yep, bought me a bad-ass trophy! Finished in 36 hours....I'm pretty ripped. You impressed?" Pathetic.

    But as George Carlin once said, "if you nail together two things that have never been nailed together before, some schmuck will buy it from you." How true.

  4. Just goes to show how the sport's getting ruined by the whole corporate make a buck attitude.... Everything's just got so commercialized. That's one thing I like about the ultra scene compared to triathlons - it's still relatively low-key. Although more and more people are doing doubles, so one can only imagine that it too will shift more into mainstream too. Anyway...... Btw, loved the comment on IM scent! :)

  5. Hahaha! I love the George Carlin quote, Joe!

    That's exactly what attracted me to the ultra stuff--the lowkeyness of it. I love that not everyone's bike (including my junker!) is carbon fiber, and people wear camelbaks and seem not to be nearly as weight weenie-ish about everything :)

  6. I made a trophy like this for a gift to my daughter. It only cost me a sand paper and a paint can. I made it from a piece of wood of 8" by 2" . A bit of glue and a few hours of easy work. The satisfaction of making it and giving it myself to my daughter is priceless.

  7. That is awesome! She is a lucky girl!