MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Merry Christmas! In case you're one of those people that plans on sending your Christmas cards, like say, tomorrow, and blaming your lateness on the mail (hey, it's the thought that counts, right? There's no deadline for spreading Christmas cheer!), check out this website.

They have more triathlon related holiday cards than you'll know what to do with.

But you know what you should do with them...send them to ALL of your buddies. The coolness of the cards and the genuineness of your written sentiments will surely make your non-tri buddies scrap all other New Year's resolutions in favor of something triathlon related! Really! It's been tri-ed and proven true! (The author of that corny joke has been sacked.)

So Merry Christmas! Drink your egg nog, eat your figgy pudding, and make sure it clears through you before setting out on your run tomorrow!

XOXO

Triathlete Diva

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Merry Christmas! In case you're one of those people that plans on sending your Christmas cards, like say, tomorrow, and blaming your lateness on the mail (hey, it's the thought that counts, right? There's no deadline for spreading Christmas cheer!), check out this website.

They have more triathlon related holiday cards than you'll know what to do with.

But you know what you should do with them...send them to ALL of your buddies. The coolness of the cards and the genuineness of your written sentiments will surely make your non-tri buddies scrap all other New Year's resolutions in favor of something triathlon related! Really! It's been tri-ed and proven true! (The author of that corny joke has been sacked.)

So Merry Christmas! Drink your egg nog, eat your figgy pudding, and make sure it clears through you before setting out on your run tomorrow!

XOXO

Triathlete Diva

Friday TriFunnies!

A few jokes to get you through your last day of work before a weekend of Christmas craziness and celebration begins! Check out some other funny trijokes here.

A Froggy Story

A man was out jogging in the forest one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero."

The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want."

Again the man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally the frog asked, "What's the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The man replied, "Look, I'm a Triathlete. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

A Bicycle Story

A triathlete was walking around in town one day when his friend, another triathlete, rode up on an incredible shiny new bike.

The first chap was stunned and asked, "Where did you get such a fantastic bike?"

The friend replied, "Well, yesterday I was out running in the forest just minding my own business when this beautiful woman rode up to

me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want!"

The first chap nodded approvingly, "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

Hahahahaha! Happy Friday!

Things Every Triathlete Should Be Thankful For this Xmas

1. Your friends and family aka. fan club who will cheer for you for an entire 5+ hour race, and still talk to you and love you after you brag constantly, talk numbers for hours (well, I swam a 30:12, but X went a 28:35, but I beat him on the run...), and complain about how sore you are, even though they're thinking on the inside, "you did it to yourself!"

2. Carbon fiber...everything

3. Spandex...everything (including Speedo Runs in very public places)

4. The fact that Jelly Beans and candy bars can be counted as essential nutrient-delivering items, because you're "training"

5. Your metabolism. Bring on the Egg Nog!

6. Warm outdoor pools on cold days. Steamy.

7. Seeing the sun rise on bike rides (makes you forget you can't feel your hands, feet, face...or entire body)

8. Snot rockets

9. Strategically placed portapotties

10. Training buddies...

• with nice butts


• who bring extra food, lest you bonk


• who are very positive


• who will do your "only 25 more miles" loop with you for only a pint of beer in return


• who wear very funny looking outfits...like guys who wear white cycling shorts

When You're Not Worth $1

The entire holiday season is usually a time for sharing, generosity, and otherwise doing good deeds we were all too Scroogilicious to do throughout the rest of the year.

Following in this holiday spirit, most companies choose to reward their employees, whether with bonuses, raises, chocolate, cars, whatever.

But what can you do when your company refuses to even give you a $1 per hour raise? It's definitely not too good for the ego. Certainly not too good for employee morale. In fact, something like that might make a person "go postal". So, short of doing something eternally damning, what can you do to cheer back up--and not miss any workouts due to "seasonal boss-induced depression" (it's real!). Here are some suggestions:

• pee in your boss's mullet wig (obviously, there are some restrictions to this one...like your boss has to have a mullet wig, and you have to somehow obtain it from his pointy head)


• cry into the arms of someone who loves you (a much better suggestion...soothing, although hardly revenge-oriented)


• eat a Gingerbread house with someone who loves you (the "with someone who loves you" is key, here. You don't want to consume an entire house on your own. It'll only make you feel worse.)


• cry to your Madre, explaining that an extra $1 per hour would've amounted to $160 per month which is almost the price of a triathlon these days. Because you refuse to do "sprint" distance triathlons because they are for wussies and people who run well. You don't run well. You don't do anything well. You are very very sad and want to crawl into a hole. To which the desired response is: "Oh, honey. I love you. I'll sponsor your next triathlon. You do do things well. Very well, indeed."


• lift weights. And do the grunting thing the big boys do to annoy everyone in the gym. Your stored up anger will ensure an incredibly successful lifting session, and the grunts will satisfy your desire to piss someone off. (Unless you are a pacifistic kind of fella, in which case, most of this list will be utterly useless for you...but most triathletes are competitive. And challenging their ability to pay for races and other triathlon-related items is like having John Mayer challenge Hulk Hogan to a wrestling match. The challenger is gonna get it!)


• Be thankful that Christmas is right around the corner, so someone will be around who loves you, who wants to give you things, and who will help you map out a game plan to a kick-butt season and a happier "daytime job" life!