Need incentive to swim as hard as you can in rough water without being chased by a shark or other large animal? Try this brand new exercise! (Note: fiancé may be substituted with friend/coach/exercise buddy/dog/etc…)
Step 1: Take your fiancé’s family wave runner for a spin with fiancé attached to your back.
Step 2: Drive as far away from shore as possible.
Step 3: Decide to allow your fiancé his chance to drive. It is his, after all.
Step 4: Take your hand out of the kill switch to trade places with fiancé.
Step 5: Fall off of wave runner.
Step 6: Cuss loudly as wave runner takes itself for a joy ride, unburdened by you and your fiancé’s combined mass.
Step 7: Sprint freestyle in a lifejacket across lake with fiancé laughing behind you while you pray you won’t have to swim back to shore sans wave runner or sanity.
Step 8: Praise a higher power for waves that turn the wave runner in a 90 degree angle.
Step 9: Violently remove kill switch from unruly wave runner.
Step 10: Remount wave runner.
Step 11: Repeat as necessary until you feel you’ve had a sufficient workout/ sufficient embarrassment from other seafaring people who have not lost their vessels.
Happy Cross Training!
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