Triathlon Inspirational Quotes

Need a little oomph to get you out there today? Whether you're biking, running, or swimming aujourd'hui, here are some awesome quotes to get you going--or to think about while you're sweating away! Because you're not the only one who's ever pondered the beauty of the bicycle...

• When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race. -H.G. Wells


• The bicycle is just as good company as most husbands and, when it gets old and shabby, a woman can dispose of it and get a new one without shocking the entire community. -Ann Strong


• "I'm going to go out a winner if I have to find a high school race to win my last race." - Johnny Gray (TriDiva isn't sure that one is always true...high schoolers can be wicked fast!)


• "Tough times don't last but tough people do." - A.C. Green


• H2O: two parts Heart and one part Obsession. -Author Unknown


• Nothing compares to the simple pleasure of a bike ride. -John F. Kennedy


• "There are clubs you can't belong to, neighborhoods you can't live in, schools you can't get into, but the roads are always open." - Some ad guru for Nike


• Chlorine is my perfume. -Author Unknown


• The sound of a car door opening in front of you is similar to the sound of a gun being cocked. -Amy Webster (Ok, not so inspirational...but true!)


• When the earth floods from global warming, the swimmers will rule the world. -Author Unknown


• What do you call a cyclist who doesn't wear a helmet? An organ donor. -David Perry (Cover your noggin!)


• "Multisport without the swim is like a date without the sex." -Mike Collier


• "EAT RIGHT. GET LOTS OF SLEEP. DRINK PLENTY OF FLUIDS. GO LIKE HELL." -another Nike marketing guru


• "If it doesn't kill you it will make you stronger." -Nietzsche


• "I am the greatest. I'm a machine." -great mantra to repeat to oneself, learned from a sleepover camp counselor


• "The best rides are the ones where you bite off much more than you can chew--and live through it." -Doug Bradbury


• "It never gets easier, you just go faster." - Greg LeMond


• "I have met my hero, and he is me." - George Sheehan (Repeat to self at least once a day. Very good for you.)


• "Pain is only temporary." Also good to repeat to self. Like in hour 3 of long run or ride.

No go out there and hit the road/path/pool and kick some mega butt! You rock!

PS. If you want more, check out these sites:

cycling quotes, running quotes, quotes for everything (type in your favorite sport!)

Triathlon Cartoon of the Day!

It's a special day! You don't have to wait until Sunday for a colored funny! Check out this great cartoon from Maui artist Guy Junker. He makes all kinds of sports related funnies.

"Lewis shatters the Triathlon record by finishing all three legs at once!"

And if you like this one, there are many more here! Happy internet surfing / avoidance of real work!

The Solo Long Ride--Should You or Shouldn't You?

If you're training for an Ironman, or just in a competition with your buddies to see who can get the worst saddle sore of all time, chances are you've been faced with that monster workout of the week: The Long Ride. After you decide what you're going to eat and drink, another decision must be made: to go it alone or not? That is, assuming you've found a group of equally insane people who would rather do nothing else than get up early and ride over 100 miles on their Saturday or Sunday.

There are advantages and disadvantages to riding solo and riding in your psycho group. Here's a look at the pros and cons so you can ultimately decide which way you'd rather beat yourself up i.e. become a faster stronger racing machine who is rather whiney and walks funny upon arrival at home base.

Riding With Your Psycho Group

pros :

• they can show you where to go. They might bring you on psycho routes you'd never have thought of or knew existed


• there are people around to talk to and who might sacrifice a gel or two lest you feel like you're reaching bonkage territory...or have a spare tube should you be that guy and flat twice


• you can draft


• having to meet people at a certain time all ready and rarin' to go will make you get your bum up on your weekend and go do it. No snooze button hitting! You can't hold up the group!

cons :

• you can draft (Hey, you're training for an Ironman, right!? No drafting, you big wuss!)


• they might go too fast and you're feeling poopy and try to keep up, only to break down your already struggling body and see only set backs and injury instead of strength gain as a result (woah! Or you could, you know, let them drop you if they're going too fast...)


• they might go too slow and then you're stuck pulling a bunch of lazy legs for hours on end, leaving you in a bad mood and unable to help anyone out for a week in retaliation (Or you could, you know, drop them...)


• they might meet at a time that's inconvenient for you. Like right when your spouse is feeling frisky...

Biking Solo

pros :

• no drafting! Hey, this is all about getting stronger, right?


• you get to practice the mental side of your Ironman. 7+ hours on a bike alone with yourself. If you haven't made an attempt on your own life by the end, you'll be in good standing come race day.


• You can go at whatever the heck pace you want...and convince yourself you're flying up a climb when your computer only reads 5mph.


• You can go whenever you want. Stop whenever you want. And make pit stops on the side of the road without having to bury yourself in a bush so all the other non-existent riding buddies can't see your pale bum.

cons :

• it can be uber creepy. For instance, should you chose a route with a climb that seems to go to nowhere, where you've never been before, and it's drizzling, and you see a peacock farm and a buffalo in someone's front yard. Who are these freaky people who live in the middle of nowhere and keep peacocks and buffalo as pets? You don't want to know. Hopefully, they've never heard of carbon fiber and won't sick their peacocks on you and steal your bike.


• nobody really knows where you are, should you have peacocks sicked on you and/or fall into a canyon or get run over by a psycho driver. Or have a boulder fall on your head from the canyon above, etc... Yes, you've been good and told people where you're going, but the roadside assistance won't be coming until 10 hours later when people start to get concerned and realize you're not that slow.


• you and your thoughts. You may be your best friend, but hanging out 24/7 with someone is never good for the relationship. By the end, you may want to disown yourself. That can be hard to do.


• you may not push yourself as hard as you can go, and perpetually ride the same distance at the same pace without any real improvement. Sure, you rode 100+ miles, but is the effort reflecting in your times?

So there you have it. Buddies are great. Riding alone is great. To train for Ironman, you should probably do a bit of both. Like 50/50 to start. 40% buddy/60% alone closer to the race, etc... until you're flying solo (for real, not just convincing yourself you are) with ease before the race. And alert your loved ones to your route & possible things that could happen to you along it so they know what to look for should they have to come looking. Like a peacock with a human-shaped bulge in its belly.

Happy long riding!

Get Your Animals To Tri!

You heard it right. If you're like plenty of triathletes we know, you probably have a cat. Or a dog. Or some kind of animal to make up for the fact that you're training non-stop and need some unconditional lovin' in between.

But between work, friends, family, and training, perhaps said pet has been a little neglected. If you're like TriDiva, perhaps your cat is getting a bit pudgy--like beyond what you can attribute to cat fluff. It's like the fit parents with the fat kid. What to do? It's time to share your passion with your pet!

Step 1: The Swim

Cap and suit optional. This is the part most human triathletes struggle with, so if Fatso doesn't take to it instantly, don't worry. Just ease him into it with a little water therapy every day, until he's comfortable immersing himself in the pool. The key is not to let on you think he's fat and needs the exercise, just to introduce him to swimming in the hopes he'll take a liking to it and drop 10 lbs.

Step 2: The Bike

One pedal stroke at a time. You might find teaching your cat to pedal is easier than teaching him to swim. They tend to be attracted to moving objects, and as long as they can keep that pedal going, they'll be amused for a long time. Put it in an easy gear. And try attaching a bell to it for added stimulation. Just remember to take it off before heading out with your buddies. Don't buy Fatso a bike just yet. You can wait to ensure he becomes dedicated enough to riding, so the investment will be worth it in the future.

Step Three: The Run

By far the easiest part of triathlon to teach Fatso. A tried and true way to get him up off the couch and do some plyometrics and accelerations: Santa on a string. There's just something about that red hat, rosy cheeks, and little bell on the end of his hat that gets cats all riled up. Or maybe they're bitter that all Santa brought them for Xmas was some canned tuna, while they know darn well you got a plasma TV. Whatever it is, help Fatso strengthen those muscles so he has something left in him when he competes in his first tri.

Just remember: it's not easy to start a new life as a triathlete after having been a sedentary snuggler for a long period of time. Start Fasto off easy. Praise him for all of his small accomplishments. Give him incentive, (but NOT food!) like inviting his favorite female friend over for playtime one day after he swims 2 bathtub lengths.

Pretty soon you'll come home, and he'll be on your trainer already. No prompting needed. Good luck! Wishing you and your fat cat a happy healthy tri life together.

How to Get Motivated For Your Run / Funny Running Video

Need some kind of oomph to get you out the door? Ladies, put on a shirt like this and run away from all of those lusty dudes. Guys, run after a hot chick. At least that's what this ad team thought when they designed this awesome video:

Watch Video Here

Sexy Runner

Why Every Athlete Should Drink Hot Chocolate

It is January. It is cold.

You rode outside anyway,

Now you can't feel your toes.

The best reward on such a winter's day?

A cup of Hot Chocolatey goodness. Hip Hip Horray!

Seriously, hot chocolate is a food of the gods. So you deserve it! As your third grade teacher probably told you, Aztec leader Moctezuma served this sacred drink in a golden goblet. We're sure that tastes just dandy, but if you must use a paper cup, that's fine, too.

"But I can't eat chocolate, I'm training!"

Ok, silly person. Hot chocolate can be served in many ways. And if you're afraid your 8 oz paper cup full of seratonin-releasing pleasure will go straight to your thighs, there's diet and sugar-free types out there, too. (You wuss.)

So grab your favorite hot chocolate (Ghirardelli individual packets highly recommended), and enjoy. Here's why:

• it's cold outside. Hot chocolate is hot. Cold outside + hot chocolate inside = 1 warm you.


• if you mix the mix with skim milk, you get a nice helping of protein and calcium for the day. Calcium + serotonin release = 1 happy you.


• it's hard to get up when it's cold and dark. But it's much easier if you get a reward afterward! Early morning wake up call + hot chocolate incentive = 1 intense, quality workout.


• and, of course, it tastes delicious. Hot chocolate + taste buds = a very happy you and your tummy -> a very productive you at work -> more money to buy triathlon gear.

So there you have it. A cup of hot chocolate can make you happier, healthier, fitter, and richer. So what are you waiting for?

Getting Up Early Got Your Goat?

In the nascent stages of your trigeek life, a 4:30am wake-up call was simply insane. 4:30! Why would I have to get up at 4:30?! It's still dark. 4:30 still qualifies as night! Even after years of training, those 4:30 wake-up calls still haven't gotten any easier.

But, in the best interest of forming your awesomely bulging muscles, and stimulating that metabolism that has others wondering where that 20oz turkey sandwich you had as a "snack" at 10:30am went, 4:30am is a necessity. Or maybe for you, it's 4...or 5...still, it's pretty freakin' early. And right now, it's also pretty freakin' cold.

Here are some suggestions to help get you up and going, when everyone else you know is dreaming of sugar plums...or something like that:

• set your alarm for the latest time you can possibly get up and meet your buddies/make it to practice. DON'T do the snooze thing. That just cuts into time you could've been at REM instead of lying there dreading the 3rd time your alarm goes off.


• DON'T drink caffeine. Or, if you must have coffee to be a productive / kind member of society, please do, just not for several hours before you go to bed. Let's say 5. That looks like a good number.


• Give yourself a treat for waking up. No, not the Rice Krispy kind. Say you're going to swim practice. When you get up, think of that super cute guy/girl on your Master's team. Because you got your butt up so early, you get to ogle this person in their tiny bathing suit at every rest interval. Or, if you're lucky enough to swim the same pace as they do, you get to swim behind them all of practice. Maybe they'll even talk to you!


• think of all that time between now and when you have to go to work. That's a lot of you time before you have to give yourself up to the corporate infrastructure. Excellent.


• picture the amazing body you are building. Think about all that body fat you are widdling away. Those bulging biceps. Think of all that time you're shaving off everything--minutes off your swim, bike and run. You will dominate this year! And all thanks to your special morning wake up time.


• it gives you bragging rights at work. When your coworkers meander in at 15 minutes late at 10:15, apologizing because they couldn't get up, just say, "Oh, that's ok. I got up at 4:30 and worked out for 4 hours. I didn't think I'd make it in time, either!" (Or something equally as subtle.)

Be proud of yourself! As you know, early to bed, early to rise...makes a triathlete healthy, wealthy, and gives him/her great thighs!

The Tale of the Thrill Seeking Cyclist

He set out one morning

Alone in the cold,

Kissed his wife on the cheek

As she said, "You're too old!"

"You're never too old to enjoy life!"

He told his wife,

And he strapped on his helmet, gloves,

and shoes

Looked at heaven above

and thought, "What's a man to do?"

When he stepped outside, into the crisp air

He felt the wind blast his hair.

He looked at his watch to catch the time

He wanted to do better than last week on this climb.

So up up and away he went

By the time he got to the top,

He was spent.

And overjoyed, too,

Because now came his favorite thing to do:

He would descend as fast as his Merckx

could take him

And insisted that the howling wind

couldn't shake him.

It was like he was flying

And the guy behind him would agree

He was even going faster

than all of the birdies

Just as he got to the last curve

He got going too fast, and crossed into the other lane

There was no time for the F-150 to swerve

And our cyclist was the one to blame.

He slipped in and out of consciousness

Until the ambulance came.

"He's lucky he's not dead!"

The other cyclists conferred

"It wasn't worth that to get ahead."

The man would have to learn.

His wife was called up later by the police

She'd have to meet her husband in the ICU.

"Oh no! It can't be true!"

She cried,

And she sat for hours by his side

While the doctors tried to repair his collar bone

So that in a few days he could go home.

Will he ride again?

Nobody knows

You see, this happened yesterday

So stay on your toes,

One amazing descent can be nifty

But not if you end it with a face plant into an F-150.

"Know your limits", they always say

And that statement was confirmed yesterday.

This message brought to you by all of your friends and family, who always thought you were crazy, but definitely don't need confirmation of that fact by seeing your bones, blood, or anything else meant to stay inside your body.

5 Worst Places to Work for a Triathlete

You are an athlete. You are special. You do twice as much work as everyone around you. You're up at 4:30am, and might have even worked out for 4 hours before you even step foot inside your office/cubicle/warehouse/lifeguard tower, etc... You deserve respect. You deserve an environment productive to your goals--as a triathlete and as a whatever else you are.

But sometimes, it's not so easy. Check out these Top 5 Worst Places to Work for a Triathlete. Should you happen to work in one of them, tell your athlete buddies you deserve some extra special attention. You endure a lot--in sports and in the workplace!

1. a freezing cold warehouse - you're trying to work on your fitness. Your immune system is already down from the crazy things you do. The last thing you need is to breathe in cold air all day. Your lungs won't be happy. And any cold you catch could easily linger on for months. Not cool. So, meatpacking, say, is probably not a good idea.

2. an ice cream parlour - Yes, it's delicious. Yes, you do work out enough to deserve a happy healthy serving of the creamy stuff every day. Yes, it'd be free if you worked there. But it'd be so easy to have a little taste every hour, and before you know it, you're packing away a pint a day. And the body fat percentage you've worked so hard to achieve might just start to slide...

3. a little league umpire - sure, you're sporty. But honestly, how much do you know about baseball? Besides that a few high powered sprints are involved here and there? Plus, if you make a poor call, do you really want to explain to your buddies on your long ride that the bruises on your shins are from 12 year old kids and their mothers?

4. a brewing company - For the same reasons as ice cream. It is almost guaranteed you'll pack away at least a pint a day. Yes, it's a source of carbs. Yes, quality control is an important aspect of the job. But do you really want to look like all of those older men on their bikes with skinny little legs and pudgy little bellies that impede their climbing ability? Yes, they are still fast. Maybe the beer belly, to you, is a sign that you're enjoying life to its fullest. But you won't be enjoying life with 2 pints of beer in your stomach as you attempt to run after work. Beer mile, anyone?

5. a personal trainer - This could fit in to the "best jobs for a triathlete" category as well, depending how you look at it. You already know everything there is to know about fitness. You love working out all of the time. It's a no brainer, really. On the other hand, a break away from the life of a triathlete is vital to ensure your happiness, and to give you a well-rounded, interesting life, so you could, say, talk about something other than mile splits at dinner. Plus, your idea of what is "fit" might differ from that 48 year-old-mother-who wants-to-look-good-for-her-25th-anniversary-in-one-month's idea. You're not going to make her go on a 100 mile ride on Saturday, are you?

So there you have it. Should you choose to pursue a career in any of these places anyway, at least you will now be guarded against their possible pitfalls. You can always buy a "Jelly Belly" jersey and cover up whatever might've come from your culinary pursuits. It'd be funny, and triathlon is all about enjoying life to its fullest, anyway, right?

Feel free to contact TriDiva if she left something out that just must be here!

Swimming Got You Googly-Eyed?

Do you get out of the pool when its still dark outside and put sun glasses on immediately? Do you run and hide in your room after swim practice for hours on end? Do your coworkers think you're just a funny-looking person, or do they make fun of the peculiar rings around your eyes and make you sit out of the "important" meetings so you won't scare your clients?

You might be a victim of GOOGLY EYES.

That's right. You've got your swim goggles strapped on so tight, it's a wonder your eyes haven't just popped right out into them.

Even if you're not a chronic goggle-tightener, the goggles you're wearing might just like you so much, they want to leave an impression. So they do. And you get to carry it around with you all day long. Combine that little gift with the gift of "swim cap forehead ", red eyes, stinky hair, and dry skin from the chlorine, and we wonder why anyone swims in the first place!

Never fear! Triathlete Diva to the rescue!

Here are a few things you can try to rid yourself of these unsightly afflictions:

• loosen up those goggles! If you give them a little pat, they'll suction to your face senza the need to see how much your straps can stretch (however, if you pat too hard, you'll get googly eyes. Patting your goggles correctly is an art that takes practice.)


• turn your swim cap inside out. The ribbing is usually on the inside, if there is any, and that's what gives you lines on your face that make you look like a character in Star Trek later. Most people have heads shaped so they don't need the ribbing to hold their caps on. Don't worry, we're not saying you have a funny shaped conehead if your cap won't stay on...


• try a swimming mask. This, however, will almost certainly get you laughed at if you swim with a masters group. If you don't, great. If you do...just choose. Who would you rather have laugh at you? Your coworkers, or those tubby guys in speedos? (Try these Aquasphere swim mask/goggles...maybe nobody will notice you've switched from sweedes...)

If you just have a very impressionable face, and no matter what, end up with funky lines and circles on it after swimming, think of it as a small sacrifice for your tip top fitness. Hey, nobody's making fun of your flabby arms, are they? You don't have 'em!

Stupid Things You Can Do To Get Ticketed On Your Bike

This debate is nothing new. It goes a little something like this: How come if I get a traffic violation on my bike, I get points on my driver's license and my insurance goes up? I don't need a license to ride my bike! Counterpoint: Cyclists are supposed to have all the rights of vehicular traffic. You wouldn't run a red light in your car, would you? (Maybe YOU would. That's not the point.)

The truth is, as much as TriDiva, all of her friends, and every other cyclist in the known universe don't like to slow momentum down at stop signs and do other silly things, these actions are truly counter productive. We all like to fight for our rights to the road. We stick "Share the Road" signs on our bumpers and are pro-anything that raises drivers' awareness of cyclists. But when we break the law that lets us have these rights to "Share the Road", we're making a strong case against ourselves.

So here are a few things all cyclists do, and will probably continue to do until the end of time. Because, hey, why stop at a deserted stop sign, really? Just use your head, or else you might not have one to use after your next ride!

1. Stop at traffic lights. No brainer. Lights are put in intersections where there is more traffic. Otherwise, there'd be a stop sign. Capisce?


2. Stop at stop signs you know often have traffic, even if you don't see anyone coming. AND at blind stop signs where you can't see people who might be coming left or rignt.


3. Stop at stop signs in neighborhoods you know are frequented by cops. Or at least, before you roll through a deserted intersection, do a quick look behind you to make sure a trooper isn't drafting off of you. Hey, it's still against the law, but if a tree falls in the woods, and there isn't anyone there to hear it...


4. Use a front light at night / dawn / dusk. It's the law. If you don't have one, you can and probably will get pulled over. Street lamps don't cut it. You don't have to spend a fortune...unless you're riding in the pitch black. (Ask for a bright light for Xmas? Birthday?) But how would you be doing that anyway without a light?


5. Use a blinky in the back. This is not the law. But it should be. Because if you're riding in your lane to the right, as the laws of cycling intended, people are seeing you first from behind. People are attracted to blinky things. The blinky will make sure they don't destroy you from that direction, because they'll see you. Let's just hope they don't gravitate toward its mesmerizing rhythm.


6. Check out this Portland, Oregon case. It appears fixed gears are illegal there for the time being...or will be after this ruling. If you have one, make sure it stops. But even if it does, you might end up in court vs. a power hungry cop like this girl.

So ride on, fellow cyclists! Just don't go duct taping a dead flashlight to your aerobars, flying through stop signs and red lights, and expect to get away with it. Your Geico agent won't be happy with you.

Swimming Got You Gassy?

Just like Raging Crotch, Swimmer's Stomach, as we like to call it, is a little talked about subject. Because, well, it stinks.

Do you ever get out of the pool after a hard workout, only to be greeted by an unfriendly bubble in your belly that will only go away after a few hours of embarrassing burping or flatulence? After living with this problem for some time, and hiding out in a cubicle for the first two hours of work, praying nobody will ask you a question and accidentally stumble upon your secret secretions, it's time to think about a solution.

What Causes Swimmer's Stomach?

According to a post on the Gastroenterology Support Forum, when you swim hard, you regulate your breathing. Air comes in in big gulps, and goes out much more slowly. You might even hold a breath to race to the finish faster and more efficiently. That's all fine and dandy. What happens later to some people isn't something to be as proud about as finishing that last tight interval in time.

What happens to these monster gulps? The extra air goes into the stomach. That's right. Because the next time you need to gulp, your lungs need to be ready for it. Thus, you get a nice tummy bubble moving along your intestinal tract. But to relieve you of passing a giant gassy bubble, your kind and efficient body will break it down into several little bubbles. So instead of ripping one big one once you get out of the pool, and being done with Swimmer's Stomach, you get to eek it out over the next couple of hours at your big meeting with the boss man.

How Can Swimmer's Stomach Be Stopped?

Don't breathe so darn much! While you might be cruising along, enjoying your face full of air after every 2 strokes, you might also be setting yourself up for a post-swim swell up. On the other hand, if you're doing breathing drills and breathing less frequently, you might be prone to taking in bigger gasps of air, flooding the stomach with air as well.

So what to do? The benefits of swimming far outweigh the potential for getting Swimmer's Stomach. Swimming makes you leaner, stronger, sexier, and comfortable wearing next to nothing in large groups of people. (Whether that's good or bad, we don't know. But it's a fact.)

Some practical solutions: Get a job 2 hours away from swim practice so the only people who'll know about your issues are you, your car, and the morning radio DJ. OR, swim at night, so the only person who'll have to deal with it later is your spouse. And hey, he/she married you for better or worse, right? We're sure they'll take a little flatulence along with the rest of your athletic and motivated package.

So dive in! And don't worry. You're not the only one who experiences Swimmer's Stomach!

A Gadget Worth TriGeeking Out About

No matter how cool you might play it in the office, on the prowl in the bars, or while hanging out with your buddies, if you're a triathlete, there's a ginormous gadget geek inside of you. You know all about the "next best thing". That carbon fiber, body monitoring, cadence-improving, electronic training partner guaranteed to make you faster, stronger, and better looking.

While something like, say, a Garmin Forerunner 305 and some Profile Design carbon aerobars might do the trick, there's something far less costly, and dare we say even more fashionable, that'll get your heart-rate up to max in no time: The New iPod Shuffle.

It's small and light enough to wear clipped to your ear, if you like. The music player itself seems to weigh less than the ear buds! If you've ever needed some extra motivation for an early morning long run or a lifting session at your overcrowded gym, look no further.

It's like being followed by your own personal soundtrack. The music seems to be floating around your head, like nature intended it to be there. It has been known to inspire many zen running moments.

A true trigeek should not be without his or her Shuffle. And no, Apple is not paying for this plug. It's simply a fact of trigeek gadget obsession. The Shuffle should be right up there on your list of "must-haves" for 2007. Because, let's face it, sometimes the greatest of pleasures come in the smallest of packages.

Visit www.apple.com/ipodshuffle/ for more information. And don't worry, cool guys and gals, your secret trigadget geekery is safe with us.

Sneak Peek! How (not) to Buy a Bike on Ebay

TriDiva bought her first tri bike on eBay. But sometimes walking home with the prize is not as simple as placing the winning bid. When having a big hunk of carbon fiber at a great price is your goal, dealing with nasty personalities and guerilla bidding tactics are easy tasks. Read on for this excerpt from her forthcoming novel:

I found a big bike shop in Laguna Beach whose owner has apparently ridden with Lance Armstrong, This shop also advertises that they have Kuota Kaliburs as demo bikes--to use in your next time trial, to test ride, etc... Perfect! I thought. I could probably buy the demo bike at a discounted price! Sweet. So I emailed the owner. Here's how it went down:

Hello.

I was wondering if you would ever consider selling your demo Kuota Kalibur (medium) for a discounted price?

Thank you!

-Me

bikeguy's response: (name has been changed to protect el jerko, even though I don't think he should be protected. But it's also changed to protect me, who idolizes Lance Armstrong along with the rest of the world, and doesn't want to make enemies with his friends...even if he has questionable choice in companions.)

Why would I want to do that?

Now that certainly wasn't the answer I thought I'd get. Aparently, demo bikes don't work like demo skis, where you get a sometimes killer deal on nice stuff because everyone and their mother has tried it out. Who knew? So I wrote back:

I can't tell through email if that was a rhetorical question, so if it was, please disregard my response.

Presumably, as a demo bike, it has been ridden a lot by several different people, so it would be in used condition.

Also, when the new model year of Kuotas come in, you'd want your demo to be of that year so customers would get a feel for the exact bike you're offering for purchase.

I'm sorry if my question was stupid. I've been getting frustrated looking on ebay for used bikes. I heard wonderful things about your store and thought it would be great to find a used bike from a highly-regarded, reputable place.

Thanks again,

Me

That wasn't mean, huh? It was all I could do to refrain from saying : Look, a**hole, you're perpetuating the reputation all cyclists have of being supreme f$#*ers and acting like French people even when you were born in SoCal. I asked an honest question. A smart question. You are a jerk. Au revoir. Lance could kick your arse any day. I spit on you, fart in your general direction, etc... etc...

I got no response to my real, kind and thoughtful response.

** 2 Days Later **

GOD LOVES ME!!!

I got a voice mail last night from the ebay auctioneer saying I could call him and the guy selling the bike is his friend and he'd like to get it shipped out to me this weekend!!! Oh, but wait, it gets even better! Remember when I was so pissed off at the rude email from the bike guy? Check this out. It was in my inbox this morning:

from: bikeguy

to: me

The Kuota just sold on E-Bay for a price that I am embarrassed to claim as income. Sorry, but that was your chance to get it for a ridiculous price.....as new it would have been over $4600 but it sold for just over $2500. I kept an odometer on it since we got it running as a demo bike and it had 980 miles on it. Someone got something for nothing there....

OH MY GOD!!!! Wait until he finds out me and the person who stole his bike out from under him are the same person! Craziness.

Triathlete Friends and Family Day!

That's right! They've put up with you all year. So why not make one of your New Year's resolutions to take the time out from your psycho training and recognize the people who keep you happy and strong. Even if it's only for an hour before you lift tonight.

Here are just some of the many things your closest buds have done for you time and again. They deserve something for their efforts. A foot massage? A home-cooked meal? A trip to the mall? You decide. Just make sure it isn't something like, say, a partner stretching session or something sneakily tri-training related.

• they nurse us when we're sick, even though they know we've been training through the sickness, and prolonging the phlegm and cough attacks. They still make us the extra vats of noodle soup and start buying Robitussin in bulk, though they know we've brought it on ourselves.


• They cheer wildly at all of our races, and run around for up to 17 hours straight, trying to document our athletic feats and photograph us at different angles in every section of the event.


• They console us when we get down about our day jobs cutting into valuable training time...even though we might have never even placed in our age group. They understand we're athletes at heart.


• They watch us eat extraordinary amounts of food and control the urge to comment on our gluttony.


• They recognize 4:30am as a viable time to wake up and don't mind the disturbance.


• They hold us accountable and keep us on track to reach our goals. Through sickness, bad weather, moodiness, and hurt feelings, they push us to achieve what we never though possible and keep us mentally sane.

So hug your biggest fans and make today about them. Without them, you'd be a lonely tri-geek, wandering into work in your spandex, having lost touch with the real world.

You Know You're a Triathlete When...

The lists go on and on. But somehow, it's always fun to read the criteria and compare ourselves to other crazy endurance athletes and their crazy behaviors. So without further adoo, here's a list of things that only a true triathlete would understand or do (originally found here). How many of these pertain to you?

PS. It has been noticed that this list seems to assume that the triathlete is male. The TriDivas out there will still find something to agree with!

you have a lifetime supply of water bottles, safety pins, and t-shirts.

you have trouble keeping lunch under 2000 calories.

you usually wake up at 4:00 in the morning but don't get to work until way after 9:00.

you have a $4000 bike strapped on top of your $2000 car.

you're always wet .... sweat, pool, lake, sea water, shower, bath, or rain.

your car has at least one energy bar wrapper and water bottle on the floor

your kids idea of playing is a race and awards ceremony.

you depart in morning with swim bag, bike, and running shoes in case you can get away at lunch for a workout.

you take triathlon junkets instead of vacations

you have far more shoes than your wife

your kitchen cupboards are organized into "protein", "carbs" and "etc"

Swim, Run, Bike...SKI! Get out there and hit that powder!

Seriously! It's good for you!

If you're training for an early spring race like IMAZ, chances are all of those articles about winter weight gain, getting slothful in the cold months, etc... are totally irrelevant. Why? You've chosen to work your butt off, literally, during your vacation in the hopes of meeting a fabulous goal at your upcoming race. Kudos to you!

But you might have noticed something else...all of that year-round training without any break is driving you MAD! Before you head for a mental breakdown and curse yourself and your "crazy" Ironman (or Olympic or Half or Sprint...) dreams, consider this: CROSS TRAINING. Not just any cross training. GO SKIING.

Now if you've never strapped on a pair of skis in your life, don't go throwing yourself down the double diamonds on the first day. But consider these skiing facts:

• it's a quad burner


• you've got to be at elevation to ski--sometimes at elevations of 12,000 feet or higher--thereby giving your lungs a super workout


• it improves coordination


• doing long bump runs is equivalent to running sprints around a track (10 minutes hard down a run, 15 mins or less back up the chair for rest. If you do bumps all day, you'll be cursing those new high-speed quad lifts they just put in, and wishing the old, slow, creaky doubles were still in operation!)


• if you haven't already found the single of your dreams in the very social sport of triathlon, chances are you'll find someone in the equally social sport of skiing. Romance on the mountain, anyone?

Plus, there are even more added perks than stronger thighs and a greater V02 max! Like mountain side hot chocolate, giant rice krispy treats, slopeside entertainment, people watching (was that guy's suit straight out of the '80s, or what!?), and white fluffy stuff you can eat, throw at friends, or use to ice sore spots.

So what are you waiting for? Grab those skis and hit the slopes! And don't worry about your training plan. You'll be in tip top shape when you get back after a full week of skiing--hot chocolate, rice krispy breaks, and all!

Check out Jimmy Archer's article in Triathlete Magazine endorsing Alpine Skiing as great cross-training here.