Friday, January 19, 2007

5 Worst Places to Work for a Triathlete

You are an athlete. You are special. You do twice as much work as everyone around you. You're up at 4:30am, and might have even worked out for 4 hours before you even step foot inside your office/cubicle/warehouse/lifeguard tower, etc... You deserve respect. You deserve an environment productive to your goals--as a triathlete and as a whatever else you are.

But sometimes, it's not so easy. Check out these Top 5 Worst Places to Work for a Triathlete. Should you happen to work in one of them, tell your athlete buddies you deserve some extra special attention. You endure a lot--in sports and in the workplace!

1. a freezing cold warehouse - you're trying to work on your fitness. Your immune system is already down from the crazy things you do. The last thing you need is to breathe in cold air all day. Your lungs won't be happy. And any cold you catch could easily linger on for months. Not cool. So, meatpacking, say, is probably not a good idea.

2. an ice cream parlour - Yes, it's delicious. Yes, you do work out enough to deserve a happy healthy serving of the creamy stuff every day. Yes, it'd be free if you worked there. But it'd be so easy to have a little taste every hour, and before you know it, you're packing away a pint a day. And the body fat percentage you've worked so hard to achieve might just start to slide...

3. a little league umpire - sure, you're sporty. But honestly, how much do you know about baseball? Besides that a few high powered sprints are involved here and there? Plus, if you make a poor call, do you really want to explain to your buddies on your long ride that the bruises on your shins are from 12 year old kids and their mothers?

4. a brewing company - For the same reasons as ice cream. It is almost guaranteed you'll pack away at least a pint a day. Yes, it's a source of carbs. Yes, quality control is an important aspect of the job. But do you really want to look like all of those older men on their bikes with skinny little legs and pudgy little bellies that impede their climbing ability? Yes, they are still fast. Maybe the beer belly, to you, is a sign that you're enjoying life to its fullest. But you won't be enjoying life with 2 pints of beer in your stomach as you attempt to run after work. Beer mile, anyone?

5. a personal trainer - This could fit in to the "best jobs for a triathlete" category as well, depending how you look at it. You already know everything there is to know about fitness. You love working out all of the time. It's a no brainer, really. On the other hand, a break away from the life of a triathlete is vital to ensure your happiness, and to give you a well-rounded, interesting life, so you could, say, talk about something other than mile splits at dinner. Plus, your idea of what is "fit" might differ from that 48 year-old-mother-who wants-to-look-good-for-her-25th-anniversary-in-one-month's idea. You're not going to make her go on a 100 mile ride on Saturday, are you?

So there you have it. Should you choose to pursue a career in any of these places anyway, at least you will now be guarded against their possible pitfalls. You can always buy a "Jelly Belly" jersey and cover up whatever might've come from your culinary pursuits. It'd be funny, and triathlon is all about enjoying life to its fullest, anyway, right?

Feel free to contact TriDiva if she left something out that just must be here!

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