The Tale of the Thrill Seeking Cyclist

He set out one morning

Alone in the cold,

Kissed his wife on the cheek

As she said, "You're too old!"

"You're never too old to enjoy life!"

He told his wife,

And he strapped on his helmet, gloves,

and shoes

Looked at heaven above

and thought, "What's a man to do?"

When he stepped outside, into the crisp air

He felt the wind blast his hair.

He looked at his watch to catch the time

He wanted to do better than last week on this climb.

So up up and away he went

By the time he got to the top,

He was spent.

And overjoyed, too,

Because now came his favorite thing to do:

He would descend as fast as his Merckx

could take him

And insisted that the howling wind

couldn't shake him.

It was like he was flying

And the guy behind him would agree

He was even going faster

than all of the birdies

Just as he got to the last curve

He got going too fast, and crossed into the other lane

There was no time for the F-150 to swerve

And our cyclist was the one to blame.

He slipped in and out of consciousness

Until the ambulance came.

"He's lucky he's not dead!"

The other cyclists conferred

"It wasn't worth that to get ahead."

The man would have to learn.

His wife was called up later by the police

She'd have to meet her husband in the ICU.

"Oh no! It can't be true!"

She cried,

And she sat for hours by his side

While the doctors tried to repair his collar bone

So that in a few days he could go home.

Will he ride again?

Nobody knows

You see, this happened yesterday

So stay on your toes,

One amazing descent can be nifty

But not if you end it with a face plant into an F-150.

"Know your limits", they always say

And that statement was confirmed yesterday.

This message brought to you by all of your friends and family, who always thought you were crazy, but definitely don't need confirmation of that fact by seeing your bones, blood, or anything else meant to stay inside your body.