Wednesday, January 28, 2009

3 Tips for Male Triathletes Who Loose Wedding Rings

How long, on average, does a man usually keep his original wedding ring before it vanishes before his eyes, swallowed by a large body of water, or nabbed by hospital custodian?

Men's Wedding Ring

If he's a triathlete, the probability that he will loose his wedding ring soars above that of an average dude. And considering all of the miles the triathlete covers in a single week, when he looses the ring, the probability of finding it hovers around zilch.

Coachubby made it almost to the 6-month mark before his wedding band was claimed by a murky, muddy lake. After an hour of sticking our faces into clear bowls to look at the bottom of a sandbar, the ring was pronounced dead at approximately 2pm, September 21st.

So what can you do to avoid (or lessen the impact of) such a costly mistake? Here are 3 tips:

  1. Don't go for bling. Buying your wedding ring is not the time to go for gender equality. It is the time to KISS--Keep it Simple, Stupid. Besides undermining your manhood and making you look like a big baby who values gem equality over wife worship, a blingy ring will make you cry like a baby when you loose it. Save the cash and go on a nice vacation. When you loose your ring in the ocean, you'll still be able to enjoy yourself.

  2. Go for the tattoo. More tasteful than a naked bust of your wife snaked around your bicep, a small tattoo of her signature wrapped around your finger will solve all of your problems. You won't loose it, it won't cost much, and your wife won't ever yell at you again for forgetting to wear your ring.Tony parker wedding tattoo(Tony Parker tattooed the date of his wedding to Eva Longoria onto his finger.)

  3. Have a backup. If you're doing a race or long ride, kicking it back at a lake, or otherwise doing some activity that may allow your ring to slip off undetected, wear a backup, and leave the original in a safe place at home. Buy a box of Cracker Jax, or fork out fifty bucks for a metal band. If that ring goes, you won't be going with it.

Should you loose your ring, your local tri club probably has an undiscovered support group just waiting to meet. Send out an email professing your foolishness, and watch the letters of commiseration from your fellow men roll in.

Happy Training!

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