XMas Shopping for Your Beloved Triathlete

Triathletes. We are collectively known as a rather odd bunch. We take great pride in the odd ways we can inflict pain on ourselves, rise at hours of the morning previously unknown to mankind to begin said self-inflicted pain, and then do it all over again. Every day.

So what to buy a persnickety person who believes a Speedo Run in freezing temperatures with only a Santa hat for modesty is the perfect way to ring in the holidays?

Here are some ideas:

1. How about a sweet Time Trial helmet? Those of us who make fun of them secretly wish we, too, could look like the Rocketeer, and actually benefit from the milliseconds of time gained from its sexy, sleek formation. Check out the UvexFp2. Very hot. (Maybe hot on the inside as well? I've never worn one, only dreamt about it.)


2. Ever been doored? Do you wake up sweaty in the night, dreaming about someone in a parked Hummer on a street with no shoulder suddenly swinging open his ginormous monstrous door right in your face? Then you'll appreciate this awesome t-shirt. It'll be like an inside joke between you and your fellow triathletes.PS. Read about how getting doored enabled Tri Diva to pay for her Ironman entry here.


3. I mentioned it in the sickety sick entry, but the Snot Spot is quite possibly the funniest thing we all don't need but secretly want. One of Tri Diva's friends secretly refers to it as a C**k warmer. If you can fill in the two missing letters, you'll never look at this innocent piece of cloth the same way again.


4. Got some mega moolah to spend on your favorite trigeek? Check out the Garmin Forerunner 305. Smaller and far cuter than its predecessor, it'll be your triathlete's best training buddy. (Don't worry, if you were his/her former training buddy, I'm sure he/she will still let you come along with him/her and his/her 305. Sometimes.


5. Have a friend who's trying to grow a mullet in anticipation of the greatest hippie multisport event of all time:the Wildflower Triathlons? (No? Just me?) Well, not that I encourage mullets or anything, but I'm also not one to squish anyone's dreams. So for your (and my) very special mullet-making friend, might I suggest this book: The Mullet-Hairstyle of the Gods



(Just a subliminal message to Santa. Sorry.)

Well, I hope that gives you some ideas. More will be on the way! Because Christmas isn't the only time your triathlete friend would be most appreciative to receive uber-cool tri gifts!Ho ho ho!